How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
