pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
