Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize