I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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