it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
