I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
