Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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