these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
