you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize