"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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