I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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