first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The uberlube is also flammable
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
