i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
