Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
