She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize