help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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