is your mom at the bar?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
