ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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