Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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