I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
