so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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