you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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