I hate your face
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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