Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
