Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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