hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
