Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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