better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
