your room smells of hookers.
And success
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
