Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Shame is for Republicans.
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