HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
