that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
They took my balls.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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