I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Randomize
