I want to have your abortion
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
