so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
