Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We had sex on a dog bed..
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
