we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
