JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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