So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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