Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
