drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
