Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
