Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
