No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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