your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
