Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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