i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
