Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
