i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize