peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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