one two three fourrrrnication!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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