Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
