so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
