i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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