im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
