took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize