And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
