Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"

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(402): View more from Nebraska

This gyro tastes like lonliness

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."

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(416): View more from Toronto

"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

It would be weird sobbing cry sex.

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(239): View more from Florida

I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.

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