whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
