Where are you?
In a non slutty way
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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