goodnight i made you a song goodbye
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
