yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
